Almost to the finish line

I know. It's been weeks since my last update, but things sort of have been spinning out of control. First, I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years last week, second I had to go home to get a medical test, and third I've been trying desperately to stay in DC, but so far having no luck.

Breaking up is hard, especially if it's done with no support system. Sure I have friends, but at the same time it feels very lonely. I can't go out whenever I want, because frankly none of my friends are in DC. Most of them are at home, trying to figure out what to do with the rest of their lives, and the rest are at school, trying to earn enough money to last them for the school year (or simply cannot go home). I've been calling people, but at the same time I feel like I'm bothering them. Three years of going out with the same person, I've changed drastically that frankly I don't like it. I've become more complacent, and this is something that I hate. I apologize profusely, which was something my friend had to tell me to stop one time, and now I try to do everything I can to make people happy. Before college, and before my boyfriend, I did not give a rat's ass as to what people thought of me. I always carried a either you love me or not attitude, and frankly I want to go back to that. I was my most happiest with that attitude, because I didn't have to worry about stepping on people's toes. People came to me naturally, and now I'm struggling more than ever. I have to tell you, it sucks.

My internship, on the other hand, has been extremely rewarding. As of this moment, I'm heading back home and taking over my mom's job at my dad's company. This is only temporary, of course, as I'm still job hunting and studying for my GREs. I decided to push my graduate school plans ahead a year, and am now shopping around for that perfect fit. I don't want to make the same mistakes I made at Bucknell, so this time I'm more careful. I still want to stay close to home, as my brother is the most important person in my life. But, doing so is difficult, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.